25 November 2008

This Teddy Bear has Teeth

Anybody read the ridiculous story about the guy who climbed into the panda zoo area? I know it sounds like the opening line to a really stupid bar joke, but it's for real.

Okay, so there's this guy in China who climbs into the panda zoo area...

What do you think happens? No, he doesn't die from that supreme act of silliness, but he also doesn't get the warm and fuzzy cuddles he was hoping for apparently. Instead he scares the crap out of a huge being with teeth. Granted they are the grinding and chewing sort of teeth rather than the tearing and ripping kind, but they do the job pretty well on bamboo stalks. According to one reference I checked, a giant panda can consume over 3500 stalks of bamboo in a day. Now that's a lot of chewing and grinding. It's the kind of chewing this one goofy young man was subjected to during his not-too-swift, nearly worthy of a Darwin Award, maneuver. The panda defended himself against the intruder by chewing on his arms and legs. Heck, he might have just thought they were a new kind of bamboo.

Anyway, that fool survived his trip inside bear habitat, but a drunk guy in the Ukraine this past summer wasn't so fortunate. He ended up being mauled to death by two brown bears when he fell into their pit while trying to get his picture taken near them. Now there's something wrong with this story on so many levels. To begin with, why is the guy drunk at the zoo? Do they serve alcohol at the zoo in the Ukraine or did he smuggle it in with him? Either way, getting drunk and then trying to get chummy with brown bears, whose teeth are the ripping and tearing sort, is not the world's smartest move. I have to wonder if he has been nominated for a Darwin Award yet.

Sometimes the human brain is a wonder to behold. And then stories like these surface. Makes you wonder.

Here are links to both stories in case you're curious.



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